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Post by Solid on Jan 27, 2005 18:35:17 GMT -5
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Post by JohnnyMetal on Jan 27, 2005 20:00:06 GMT -5
And if that don't work, I have this story for you
A new pastor was visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10." Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock," Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."
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Post by SqwirL on Jan 27, 2005 22:50:35 GMT -5
Hahahahahaha, oh man.
I saw the Price Is Right one before. Good night that's insane
Johnny Metal's joke is awesome. Dang, I busted out laughing
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Post by Justincredible on Jan 28, 2005 0:26:32 GMT -5
I got a funny joke in the mail from a friend. Please have a sense of humor with this... it just pokes fun at the stereotypes of ALL Christian denominations. I'm baptist, and I found the one about me really really funny and true. HAHA Ok here goes... <Note, in actuality, some of the following are not even Christian denominations... had to put that out there for my theological peace>
"How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?"
Charismatic: Only 1- Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal: 10- One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None- Lights will go on and off at predestined times
Roman Catholic: None- Candles only (of guaranteed origin of course)
Baptist: At least 15- One to change teh light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
Episcopalians: 3- One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
Mormons: 5- One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light blulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3 way, long life, and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined- Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. f Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.
Nazarene: 6- One woman to change the bulb while five men review church lighting policy
Lutherans: None- Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?
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Post by JohnnyMetal on Jan 28, 2005 9:40:36 GMT -5
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Post by spunj13 on Jan 30, 2005 11:02:35 GMT -5
ok... those are funny....
the church (organization) that i grew up in falls so very close to baptists in the joke... so many committees to do anything...
and then potluck...
[spunj13]
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Ender
Junior Member
The Sentinel
Posts: 84
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Post by Ender on Jan 31, 2005 11:09:29 GMT -5
Non-Denominational.
But I lean towards Charismatic sort of..
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Post by Laura on Jan 31, 2005 18:15:26 GMT -5
Man, I wanna relate to the Baptists, I wish people would bring me fried chicken whenever I changed a light bulb.
*watches Price is Right*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*dancing* "I need a dinette, the dinette!"
Omg that's so funny, what makes it worse, I know people like that.
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Ender
Junior Member
The Sentinel
Posts: 84
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Post by Ender on Feb 3, 2005 14:43:38 GMT -5
Man, I wanna relate to the Baptists, I wish people would bring me fried chicken whenever I changed a light bulb. *watches Price is Right* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *dancing* "I need a dinette, the dinette!" Omg that's so funny, what makes it worse, I know people like that. Or maybe you are people like that?
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Post by Laura on Feb 3, 2005 16:36:44 GMT -5
I'm weird and crazy...but not THAT weird and crazy hahaha.
Here's a joke I heard the other night at church:
A man is walking down a path in the woods and talking to God. He says, "God, I'm curious, how much is a million dollars worth to You?" and God responds with "A penny." The man continues walking and thinks this over when another question occurs to him. He says, "God, how long is a thousand years to You?" God responds with "A minute."
The man walks a little further and says, "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a minute."
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Kyle
Full Member
Posts: 140
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Post by Kyle on Feb 3, 2005 20:49:30 GMT -5
HAHAHAHA...... Ive seen the price is right thing before i just couldnt remeber where thats soo funny
HAHA ..... i remeber that joke who told that . Slinky?
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Post by Laura on Feb 4, 2005 17:02:24 GMT -5
Haha yeah, it was Slinky.
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Post by Solid on May 2, 2005 17:46:44 GMT -5
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Post by Laura on May 2, 2005 18:21:54 GMT -5
Awwwwwww haha that's mean, but funny....hey, kinda like my icon thingy ;D
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