Some lyrics I wrote

[deadlock]

Just wanting some feedback on some lyrics I wrote for a Christian hard rock song. Notice I said hard rock, not metal. I know a lot of the brutal music and so forth doesn't rhyme, but the genre I am most comfortable with is good ole Dokken/Iron Maiden/Dio era stuff. So that is the style for the song I had in mind. With that, I present:

Another Thorn In His Crown

Look into my heart
See what is there
All my soul, my thoughts
My feelings laid bare

Sometimes it frightens me
My motives that shine through
Good and bad both live in me
To thine own self be true

(Chorus)
Another thorn in His crown
Another stake in His cross
I cause Him pain by my own sins
I kill Him with my faults
Another thorn in his crown

Struggle with myself
Lust and desire
Try to say, to pray
That my soul's on fire

God I am not worthy
The sacrifice You made
Even though I let You down
You never turn away

Another thorn in His crown
Another stake in His cross
I cause Him pain by my own sins
I kill Him with my faults
Another thorn in His crown

Another thorn in His crown...

[shredmetal777]

I love it,great job man ,and it's so true,none of us are worthy of God's grace, forgiveness,love and mercy,but he is such an awesome God he gives us what we don't deserve.

Also,I write some too,check out some of mine in the official poem thread in the art section and tell me what you think. Most of my stuff rhymes, too. But my stuff is wrote for brutal Christian death/grind project,I don't have a full band yet,but I'm praying about getting one together some day.I play guitar and do Christian death/grind vocals.

[crazywaffle]

I love it man, and yeah that whole song is totally true.

[In Christ, the metalhead]

thats awesome, and the whole song holds very true. I basically said the same thing as crazywaffle, but i don't have much else to add. but yeah, i like it.

[Solid]

Great job! Keep working at it.

[John]

I like it a lot!