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Post by empyreanishardcore on Jul 24, 2006 22:29:36 GMT -5
Hey everybody.
I'm posting a song I wrote because I need some feedback. On this thread I guess evreyone should just like post metal lyrics they wrote and rate others...
Abaddon
Who knows when the seven
Trumpets shall sound the notes
That will send the whole world
Into chaotic uproar?
Will any be worthy
To break the seals and open
The scroll that will cause the
World to hide from a slain lamb?
Yet only the Lamb is
Highly exalted among
The heavens or earth to
Take the scroll from the right hand
For He was slain to purchase
Men for God with His blood
Worthy is the lamb to
Receive strength and praise forever!
Ultimately the angels
Will sound their seven trumpets
To burn the Earth, sicken the waters,
And darken a third of day
Ensuing the first four blasts
The Abyss will be unlocked
To release torture among those
Without the seal of the Creator
And angels of death will
Slaughter a third of mankind
Those remaining still will not
They will not repent
But when the seventh trumpet
Is sounded, the kingdom
Of Yahweh will be opened
So marks the beginning of the end
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Post by Heretic on Jul 25, 2006 9:27:22 GMT -5
I love it! This stuff is awesome. Keep on writing.
Reminds me a bit of Living Sacrifice of BTA...
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Post by radar on Jul 25, 2006 9:57:18 GMT -5
Reminds me a bit of Living Sacrifice of BTA... run that by me once more. i can definitely tell it's Biblical (Revelation). good stuff. i would really like to hear how it flows though. |
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Post by Life Alas Merch Man on Jul 25, 2006 10:00:31 GMT -5
at first i thought you were just posting the lyrics for Mortal Treasons song, but then i read them, and realized they were your own, i only thought that cause of the title of the song
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Post by empyreanishardcore on Jul 25, 2006 19:54:48 GMT -5
really think they're good? that's awesome! yeah, i read revelations just to get some insight and realized that it would make great metal lyrics
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Post by empyreanishardcore on Jul 25, 2006 21:58:03 GMT -5
This is the first song I wrote. I wrote the first stanza before I became saved, but I couldn't find anything to put after it. I got most of the inspiration for this song while hiking to a waterfall called the Cascades... The lines encased in "||" are deep screams, anything in () is echoed (except for "I'm screaming") , and anything else is high scream (a.k.a- Haste the Dayish type scream)
Treacherous Journey to the Summit
|| Where have all the saints gone to? ||
Walked away in fear?
|| All these evil people I know, ||
Those that want me to hear
|| That I’m no good ||
And I can’t turn back
|| From the path of life I take||
But then a voice speaks softly
Into my ear and takes away the pain
||(He comforts me saying), “If you now turn around son||
And go back to climb
|| The perilous mountains heights||
Though the journey will be rough
There I’m sure you’ll find
||You’ll find peace in me at the summit (the summit)||
“Yes my child though the roads will be tough
And the curves will be sharp
||When you’re in despair||
||You can find me in your heart||
And though the valleys may be shadowed
And though the hills may be steep
||On My name you can call||
||Whenever you’re in need”||
||(I’m screaming), “Lord please help me, deliver me||
||Because I’m stuck knee deep in my insanity||
And these people that act like animals
They keep dragging me away from your warmth
“I know you can help me
All I need is your touch
Jesus Christ, my savior
You carried your tree
Only so that you could
Lift the sins from my shoulders
That I carry
I give my life to You, Holy Lord
Amen”
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Post by empyreanishardcore on Jul 30, 2006 14:19:47 GMT -5
:-/Hmmm... feedback would be great...
The Sacrificial Devotion
Our sinful lives
Come crashing down
Before our shameless eyes
We are all reprobate
And we must repent
Ere demise crosses our paths
Only for Him
In our agony we cry
“Worthy is the Lamb
Worthy is the Son
Worthy is He who was
Crucified as our liberator!”
Without Him
Our iniquities
Would condemn us to Hell
Without Him
No blood would there be
To cleanse us of sin
Without Him
Yahweh would look
Upon us not
For the deformity
That sin casts on our souls
Is unbearable to those most high
Only by the blood of the Lamb
Shall we be washed clean
There is no substitute
Only through the Son
And his gift of blood to all
Is one able to abide
With the Father
Who art in heaven
For ever and ever
Amen
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Post by Heretic on Jul 30, 2006 15:45:45 GMT -5
Niiice. Sort of like a metal hymn, if you will. I really like your stuff. Keep writing.
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Post by empyreanishardcore on Jul 30, 2006 16:51:50 GMT -5
thanks man
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Post by Heretic on Jul 31, 2006 6:52:32 GMT -5
Hey, have you read Baal Dethroned (by me?) It's along the same lines as what you write.
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Post by radar on Jul 31, 2006 11:59:13 GMT -5
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Post by empyreanishardcore on Jul 31, 2006 16:32:25 GMT -5
:PRemember, your comments don't have to be praise. Criticize me once in a while. Just kidding. Well, you can if you want. lol.
They’ve poured out blood like water
Let your jealousy burn no longer
Help me through this storm
You’re the only thing
I’ve left to hold on to
But I know as soon as
This pain of mine ends
I will be with You
In Your mighty kingdom
So please wait for me
I know I’m coming soon
If I had taken
A different path
I’m sure that this
Would be my doom
But this death is only
The beginning of life
Eternally joyful
Through my pain and suffering
I must continue marching
Or I will never reach
Where my heart longs to be
When all day is turned black
And all hope is cursed
I will fortify myself
For I know that You
Will greet me from the grave
And accept me into
Empyrean, dear Lord
This march will be hard
And filled with anguish
But it’s worth it in the end
My end is near
I’ve suffered long
I’m coming home
Greet me, my Savior
This deserves some crticism *cough cough*
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Post by radar on Jul 31, 2006 19:26:46 GMT -5
i don't think it flowed as well. nice idea though.
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Post by Heretic on Aug 1, 2006 8:06:52 GMT -5
Yeah, I didn't really like the way you wouldn't finish a line but take it up again in the next (despite the fact I do it a lot myself  .) But the song itself is beautiful. |
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Post by empyreanishardcore on Aug 1, 2006 16:02:10 GMT -5
yay! its about time i got some negative feedback!
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.) But the song itself is beautiful.