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Meh
Oct 15, 2009 5:48:54 GMT -5
Post by Brent on Oct 15, 2009 5:48:54 GMT -5
Wiping away the spatter from his bloodshot eyes, his vision clears Observations instantly provoke visions of disfigurement He has awakened, surrounded by discolored cadavers The bodies lay still across the steel vault Slits in their chest expose now meaningless organs Intestines dangle, secretions slowly drain Suddenly the imp carcasses rise, attempting, scrambling Foul cries of suffering, their screeches pierce Stumbling over their own severed limbs, panting Sights and sounds of pure torment phase the tattered man Yet his strength remains in tact Reaching for his weapon, no ammunition remains Only a serrated blade separates breath and suffocation
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Meh
Oct 15, 2009 5:50:28 GMT -5
Post by Brent on Oct 15, 2009 5:50:28 GMT -5
work in progress, need to go to bed
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Meh
Oct 15, 2009 6:17:22 GMT -5
Post by clareabel on Oct 15, 2009 6:17:22 GMT -5
Wow! A song about imp carcasses!
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Meh
Oct 15, 2009 7:28:35 GMT -5
Post by Muffy on Oct 15, 2009 7:28:35 GMT -5
I like zombies.
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Meh
Oct 15, 2009 17:56:38 GMT -5
Post by feverstone on Oct 15, 2009 17:56:38 GMT -5
Some of the wording is rather cliche and unoriginal--making it sound like you're trying to gross out a toddler. It's not a bad start, though. Not enough to really comment on.
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Meh
Oct 15, 2009 18:20:35 GMT -5
Post by phillip on Oct 15, 2009 18:20:35 GMT -5
Left 4 Dead fan poetry? I smiled when I read the part about ammo.
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Meh
Oct 16, 2009 2:28:56 GMT -5
Post by dismalmorgue on Oct 16, 2009 2:28:56 GMT -5
thats perty deth metal for better or wors
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Meh
Oct 16, 2009 3:48:33 GMT -5
Post by Brent on Oct 16, 2009 3:48:33 GMT -5
Wow I completely forgot I wrote this last night
heh, yeah it's not good
I was just in the mood for writing about demons and s**t, yeah its pretty cliche
"Meh"
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