O Retch Ov Eden

[feverstone]

I just finished this poem. I guess it could be a song. I decided to write the "of's" with v's just for the heck of it. Influence of Behemoth, I guess.


O Retch Ov Eden

A realm ov dire, red hot cinders
The world ov new, fresh November
A sign ov death, the golden leaves
The start ov growth with swine feces

Haven lost, Fruit was eaten
Damned cost, Retch ov Eden

Stalks ov green corn, drops ov crimson
Contentious Cain, cursed Eve's son
Forfeit refused, unfit for heaven
Fool forged himself the sins ov seven

Shelter lost, brother beaten
Freedom tossed, Retch ov Eden

Organs longing, cannot go back
Innocence gone as blood runs black
Wandering wastelands, meaningless quests
Fueling firelight with coal from her breast

Debt ov death, scales now even
Waste ov breath, Retch ov Eden

Eve defecates sinners, spawns her liars
Each a sole thorn in a crown ov briars
Born brimmed with sin, as pus filled ulcers
Shameless maggots, worthy ov sulfur

Crowns ov air, robes ov semen
Imperfect prayer, Retch ov Eden

Hand ov cleanliness, from faultless blood
Sifting through holes ov vomit and mud
It fetches two fists ov hell-bound whores
And carries them gently to pearl-white shores

To the Angel, rob the Demon
Right from mangled, Retch ov Eden

Retinas and pupils scaled over with dirt
Stripped in an instant and granted their worth
Dogs undeserving ov compassion or love
Showered with both like April rains from above

Worthless to worth, mark ov Philemon
Purified dirt, O Retch ov Eden

[notavailable]

retch = to vomit
wretch = an unfortunate or unhappy person.

otherwise, I liked it.

[feverstone]

Thanks.

The wording was intended, though. Referring to the human race, Eden "vomited us out."

[notavailable]

Aha.

Aha.

[phillip]

The rhyming seems kind of cheesy to me and I find some parts funny. Especially the parts about pig poo and jizz-robes.

[feverstone]

It's supposed to be mocking, so yes you're reading it right.

[Ferd Berfel]

I might actually enjoy this if "of" was spelled correctly.

[notavailable]

Ov > of.

[Josh]

Dec 7, 2009 2:08:55 GMT -5 @notavailable said:

Ov > of.

[Ferd Berfel]

I will strongly disagree until the end of forever.

"Ov" sounds to me like an angsty teenager trying to show off how "kvlt" he is. It's way more distracting and pathetic-sounding than anything else.

[Josh]

Feverstone is the kvlt master.

HE LIVES IN FLORIDA, THE SUNSHINE STATE WILL FREEZE YOUR SOUL.

I liked it though ;D

[feverstone]

I was definitely trying to show off. Dang Ferd, you caught me.

To make up for it, I wrote another version just for you.

O Retch Of Eden

A realm of dire, red hot cinders
The world of new, fresh November
A sign of death, the golden leaves
The start of growth with swine feces

Haven lost, Fruit was eaten
Damned cost, Retch of Eden

Stalks of green corn, drops of crimson
Contentious Cain, cursed Eve's son
Forfeit refused, unfit for heaven
Fool forged himself the sins of seven

Shelter lost, brother beaten
Freedom tossed, Retch of Eden

Organs longing, cannot go back
Innocence gone as blood runs black
Wandering wastelands, meaningless quests
Fueling firelight with coal from her breast

Debt of death, scales now even
Waste of breath, Retch of Eden

Eve defecates sinners, spawns her liars
Each a sole thorn in a crown of briers
Born brimmed with sin, as pus filled ulcers
Shameless maggots, worthy of sulfur

Crowns of air, robes of semen
Imperfect prayer, Retch of Eden

Hand of cleanliness, from faultless blood
Sifting through holes of vomit and mud
It fetches two fists of hell-bound whores
And carries them gently to pearl-white shores

To the Angel, rob the Demon
Right from mangled, Retch of Eden

Retinas and pupils scaled over with dirt
Stripped in an instant and granted their worth
Dogs undeserving of compassion or love
Showered with both like April rains from above

Worthless to worth, mark of Philemon
Purified dirt, O Retch of Eden

josh: Yeah, Orange Metal to the max!

[Josh]

Now its just boring.