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Post by radar on Dec 21, 2009 12:49:29 GMT -5
This is me trying to be Dr. Seuss:
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35 Cents and a pat on the head as we walked out the door toward the school. Brutality lay brooding in gutters below, filled with the obscene and the cruel.
We hoarded our change with tightly clenched fists and swore to defend it till death. But we turned a sharp corner and forgot our sweet murder in the smile of a man with sharp breath.
He wore a tall hat and a grin ear-to-ear as he conjured up sights and devices. We gawked with eyes wide at his glorious things: from washboards to Arabian spices!
We wished to stay longer but time demanded our leave, so we turned on our heels to depart. And agreed that his knack for strange magic and tricks was more than gimmicky art.
We confessed to each other when he was out of our sight how delightful the meeting had been. But as soon as we spoke again he appeared to offer balloons red as sin.
“With these magic balloons” he said with eyes twinkling “You’ll shoot straight up to Heaven!” It was hard to believe but the proposal enticed us as children of 10 and 11.
We surrendered our money and hastily snatched the red plastic spheres filled with air. But instead of ascending, our treasures grew heavy! and our hearts were filled with despair.
Down through the concrete our bodies descended and we cursed the man for his lies. But we should have known better since everyone knows “a man rarely gets what he buys”
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Post by conner on Dec 21, 2009 13:02:21 GMT -5
I really liked it.
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Post by Jacob on Dec 21, 2009 13:20:58 GMT -5
Nice work, I really enjoyed it.
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Post by feverstone on Dec 21, 2009 14:20:00 GMT -5
Nicely written. I don't know why it reminded me of William Blake, but it did.
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Post by scribe on Jan 4, 2010 22:08:24 GMT -5
I finally got around to reading this, and it was amazing. I really liked it. The only thing I would say is that the majority of the time, it flows beautifully, but there are a couple instances where the words seem a bit crammed together to keep it flowing.
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