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Post by empyreanishardcore on Jul 24, 2006 22:29:36 GMT -5
Hey everybody. I'm posting a song I wrote because I need some feedback. On this thread I guess evreyone should just like post metal lyrics they wrote and rate others...
Abaddon
Who knows when the seven Trumpets shall sound the notes That will send the whole world Into chaotic uproar?
Will any be worthy To break the seals and open The scroll that will cause the World to hide from a slain lamb?
Yet only the Lamb is Highly exalted among The heavens or earth to Take the scroll from the right hand
For He was slain to purchase Men for God with His blood Worthy is the lamb to Receive strength and praise forever!
Ultimately the angels Will sound their seven trumpets To burn the Earth, sicken the waters, And darken a third of day
Ensuing the first four blasts The Abyss will be unlocked To release torture among those Without the seal of the Creator
And angels of death will Slaughter a third of mankind Those remaining still will not They will not repent
But when the seventh trumpet Is sounded, the kingdom Of Yahweh will be opened So marks the beginning of the end
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Post by Heretic on Jul 25, 2006 9:27:22 GMT -5
I love it! This stuff is awesome. Keep on writing.
Reminds me a bit of Living Sacrifice of BTA...
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Post by radar on Jul 25, 2006 9:57:18 GMT -5
Reminds me a bit of Living Sacrifice of BTA... run that by me once more. i can definitely tell it's Biblical (Revelation). good stuff. i would really like to hear how it flows though.
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Post by Life Alas Merch Man on Jul 25, 2006 10:00:31 GMT -5
at first i thought you were just posting the lyrics for Mortal Treasons song, but then i read them, and realized they were your own, i only thought that cause of the title of the song
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Post by empyreanishardcore on Jul 25, 2006 19:54:48 GMT -5
really think they're good? that's awesome! yeah, i read revelations just to get some insight and realized that it would make great metal lyrics
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Post by empyreanishardcore on Jul 25, 2006 21:58:03 GMT -5
This is the first song I wrote. I wrote the first stanza before I became saved, but I couldn't find anything to put after it. I got most of the inspiration for this song while hiking to a waterfall called the Cascades... The lines encased in "||" are deep screams, anything in () is echoed (except for "I'm screaming") , and anything else is high scream (a.k.a- Haste the Dayish type scream)
Treacherous Journey to the Summit
|| Where have all the saints gone to? || Walked away in fear? || All these evil people I know, || Those that want me to hear
|| That I’m no good || And I can’t turn back || From the path of life I take|| But then a voice speaks softly Into my ear and takes away the pain
||(He comforts me saying), “If you now turn around son|| And go back to climb || The perilous mountains heights|| Though the journey will be rough There I’m sure you’ll find ||You’ll find peace in me at the summit (the summit)||
“Yes my child though the roads will be tough And the curves will be sharp ||When you’re in despair|| ||You can find me in your heart||
And though the valleys may be shadowed And though the hills may be steep ||On My name you can call|| ||Whenever you’re in need”||
||(I’m screaming), “Lord please help me, deliver me|| ||Because I’m stuck knee deep in my insanity|| And these people that act like animals They keep dragging me away from your warmth
“I know you can help me All I need is your touch Jesus Christ, my savior You carried your tree Only so that you could Lift the sins from my shoulders That I carry I give my life to You, Holy Lord Amen”
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Post by empyreanishardcore on Jul 30, 2006 14:19:47 GMT -5
:-/Hmmm... feedback would be great...
The Sacrificial Devotion
Our sinful lives Come crashing down Before our shameless eyes
We are all reprobate And we must repent Ere demise crosses our paths
Only for Him In our agony we cry “Worthy is the Lamb Worthy is the Son Worthy is He who was Crucified as our liberator!”
Without Him Our iniquities Would condemn us to Hell
Without Him No blood would there be To cleanse us of sin
Without Him Yahweh would look Upon us not
For the deformity That sin casts on our souls Is unbearable to those most high
Only by the blood of the Lamb Shall we be washed clean There is no substitute
Only through the Son And his gift of blood to all Is one able to abide With the Father
Who art in heaven For ever and ever Amen
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Post by Heretic on Jul 30, 2006 15:45:45 GMT -5
Niiice. Sort of like a metal hymn, if you will. I really like your stuff. Keep writing.
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Post by empyreanishardcore on Jul 30, 2006 16:51:50 GMT -5
thanks man
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Post by Heretic on Jul 31, 2006 6:52:32 GMT -5
Hey, have you read Baal Dethroned (by me?) It's along the same lines as what you write.
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Post by radar on Jul 31, 2006 11:59:13 GMT -5
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Post by empyreanishardcore on Jul 31, 2006 16:32:25 GMT -5
:PRemember, your comments don't have to be praise. Criticize me once in a while. Just kidding. Well, you can if you want. lol.
They’ve poured out blood like water Let your jealousy burn no longer Help me through this storm
You’re the only thing I’ve left to hold on to But I know as soon as
This pain of mine ends I will be with You In Your mighty kingdom
So please wait for me I know I’m coming soon If I had taken
A different path I’m sure that this Would be my doom
But this death is only The beginning of life Eternally joyful
Through my pain and suffering I must continue marching Or I will never reach Where my heart longs to be
When all day is turned black And all hope is cursed I will fortify myself
For I know that You Will greet me from the grave And accept me into Empyrean, dear Lord
This march will be hard And filled with anguish But it’s worth it in the end
My end is near I’ve suffered long I’m coming home Greet me, my Savior
This deserves some crticism *cough cough*
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Post by radar on Jul 31, 2006 19:26:46 GMT -5
i don't think it flowed as well. nice idea though.
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Post by Heretic on Aug 1, 2006 8:06:52 GMT -5
Yeah, I didn't really like the way you wouldn't finish a line but take it up again in the next (despite the fact I do it a lot myself .) But the song itself is beautiful.
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Post by empyreanishardcore on Aug 1, 2006 16:02:10 GMT -5
yay! its about time i got some negative feedback!
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