Post by Koigokoro on Nov 24, 2006 23:03:19 GMT -5
December 18, 2004,
Dear Diary,
Timeless. No, not the sense of being able to last forever. No. This use of the word is the opposite: to have no time anymore. I feel timeless. I think that the clocks have just gone on fast forward, life is just going by in a bluer. I want to grab time and hold on with my life. That way I can just sit down and know that nothing will change. Life will be the same every day. I know that will probably be event-less, but it would also be painless. I don't know what one would be better, but I want to try this one just once.
I need to think. I need to be alone. I am alone, but I need to be alone in the sense that there is no one physically there. Ya, sure, I have friends, but they seem so far away from me. Who knows how it happened. All I know is that this have changed between everyone. In the end we have all changed underneath the skin and I was just the one who changed the other way I guess. I can't fake anymore, but the damn mask doesn't come off if you have it on for too long. It gets glued down and the only way to take it off is to take off the face you have underneath. The face you hide. The face you are now desperate to show.
It's gone now. Life as I know it is a memory now. I can't live the celebrity anymore. It is just too much to have to look over the your shoulder to see if you can find the paparazzi, and when you find them you see that they are your closest friends. After coming so far in life and seeing yourself to three inches away from the finish line of your goals. I cant finish anymore. Things just aren't the same anymore. I have to fall down now and let the people just pass me. Hit the cold concrete bottom, because when your close to your goal you see that it isn't what you thought and that if you get there then nothing will matter.
Life wont matter. You'll die inside.
- Insert the name of the girl you once new here.
Dear Diary,
Timeless. No, not the sense of being able to last forever. No. This use of the word is the opposite: to have no time anymore. I feel timeless. I think that the clocks have just gone on fast forward, life is just going by in a bluer. I want to grab time and hold on with my life. That way I can just sit down and know that nothing will change. Life will be the same every day. I know that will probably be event-less, but it would also be painless. I don't know what one would be better, but I want to try this one just once.
I need to think. I need to be alone. I am alone, but I need to be alone in the sense that there is no one physically there. Ya, sure, I have friends, but they seem so far away from me. Who knows how it happened. All I know is that this have changed between everyone. In the end we have all changed underneath the skin and I was just the one who changed the other way I guess. I can't fake anymore, but the damn mask doesn't come off if you have it on for too long. It gets glued down and the only way to take it off is to take off the face you have underneath. The face you hide. The face you are now desperate to show.
It's gone now. Life as I know it is a memory now. I can't live the celebrity anymore. It is just too much to have to look over the your shoulder to see if you can find the paparazzi, and when you find them you see that they are your closest friends. After coming so far in life and seeing yourself to three inches away from the finish line of your goals. I cant finish anymore. Things just aren't the same anymore. I have to fall down now and let the people just pass me. Hit the cold concrete bottom, because when your close to your goal you see that it isn't what you thought and that if you get there then nothing will matter.
Life wont matter. You'll die inside.
- Insert the name of the girl you once new here.