matrix
Junior Member
Conformity is Death
Posts: 90
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Post by matrix on Sept 6, 2005 11:13:39 GMT -5
Just post your poems for all to read. You can rate if you like, maybe even comment.
Keep it nice and clean.
Now, who shall start?
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Post by Solid on Sept 6, 2005 16:42:38 GMT -5
I'll start...ya, it's from the other thread, but oh well. THE VISION
The Reason:
For it is only a dream; a dream it will forever be I pray it will not be reality that I'll see It was so vivid and aspiring Too real for me, and my reason for writing
The Dream:
The room is shaking There is no place to hide The next thing I know Everything has gone white In the distance, I see a glimmer And nothing else in sight No one is around me Just that golden light I run to this thing And realize it's a gate I want to step inside I can no longer wait ____________________
I take hold of the bars Decorated with splendor I push with all of my strength With my hands feeling so tender I nearly give up with a shout Then to my surprise, the Son appears How come I have not fallen facedown? I stand facing Him without tears With an all-knowing expression He asks, "What do you want?" I senselessly answer, "I want inside." Saddened eyes, His face forever haunts
The Significance:
I wanted You, my Jesus For all the wrong things I would never love You Until I surrender life, my King With my joyful weeping I'll bring glory to Your Name My heart has been broken No longer my soul bears shame I have become new again I embrace Your loving arms Your Name is my hope You bring me no harm
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Post by Solid on Sept 6, 2005 16:43:14 GMT -5
Now, I'll rate it. 10 out of 10, haha...ok, I'll shut up now...
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Post by elegyforbabylon on Sept 6, 2005 20:06:40 GMT -5
I know i am new here and i don't post much i am just asking for advice on a song/poem i wrote...for English
Memoirs of Gomorrah
Rhythmic Gunfire pulsates the dusk Fallen companions infest the streets Rotting corpses nourish the Ravens Starvation, seems to drift past their worries Save us, We are bound by ignorance Free us, Our Animal desires are destroying us Resting In the pit of safety One more Hesitation and I’m gone A last distraction, my throat is an exit wound
Chorus: Turning our backs to your reflection The Void plunders the Life we possess When will we turn our gaze upon your face? And realize we are lost, needing hope
Crows scatter, as the vicious night Grows To take apart us Limb by limb Paranoia conquers our minds We Think we are being betrayed When we dug our graves
Chorus
The many debaucheries we invented Or so we thought, the cunning serpent lies We praised those who admitted to corruption And now we die, we set our Destiny
Chorus
The Righteous were hanged Wickedness is Rampant Fire From the Heavens Replaces my flesh with A pile of Ashes
thanks for reading it
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Post by Solid on Sept 6, 2005 23:48:32 GMT -5
When I read the title, I was excited. I liked it. 10 out of 10.
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matrix
Junior Member
Conformity is Death
Posts: 90
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Post by matrix on Sept 7, 2005 14:46:54 GMT -5
Very, very nice. Very poetic. Very incredible. I give it about a 9.
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Post by elegyforbabylon on Sept 7, 2005 17:16:26 GMT -5
Solidstate i really liked the dream one...although i don't really like rhyming i would give that an 8.7 out of 10
the last part(significance) sounded like a generic worship song no offense just speaking my heart...
Try not to use "you" so much it is a little over used...but the dream was right on
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Post by Solid on Sept 7, 2005 17:45:37 GMT -5
The last part on "Significance" was mainly about what was going through my head when I discovered the Lord, so that's maybe why it sounds so "worshippy" because it pretty much is. And I don't mean to use "you" too much anymore, but I like to use it because it just makes it more personal for me. Anyways, thanks for the comment, I really appreciate it.
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Post by DeadSoulEmbraced on Sept 9, 2005 20:54:25 GMT -5
Hey. I don't post much. I just got the CD Wednesday. Email me back and let me know what you think of the poem. DeadSoulEmbraced@yahoo.com Untitled I watch the blood run down my arm like the tears that roll down my face I cannot take this pain anymore Death longs to wrap its cold, bony fingers around my neck He longs to suck all of the breath out of my lungs I long to allow him For this stress, this anger, these problems I can no longer deal with All I want is my heart to cease beating Tiredness over comes my body My head screams from all this crap going on My body aches My arms, they are scarred My clothes, covered in blood My soul, longs to fly, be free, away from me I long for death to come over my body
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Post by jackskellington2 on Sept 12, 2005 10:33:40 GMT -5
If I die I will feel what I have always felt Death The death that has consumed my mind Foretold in the past it was At least I wont be rejected My heart destroyed Forgotten If in hell I scream Or in heaven I praise It will be better Better than this lonely pit This pit of starvation for love
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Post by DeadSoulEmbraced on Sept 12, 2005 19:56:14 GMT -5
That was good stuff. I LOVE the shirt. A lot of my poetry is like that. I have a site where I put all my stuff if you wanna see it. Just email me DeadSoulEmbraced@yahoo.com
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Post by jackskellington2 on Sept 12, 2005 20:00:37 GMT -5
i would.. but my email is messing up
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Post by DeadSoulEmbraced on Sept 14, 2005 15:10:28 GMT -5
okay, heres the site. www.livejournal.com/users/under_his_grace/some of the stuff is pretty dark. i've cussed on here, but i was away from God and already asked for forgiveness. if you read my work, please email me and let me know what you think. deadsoulembraced@yahoo.com
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Post by undeceived on Sept 21, 2005 10:43:43 GMT -5
"The words coming out of your mouth only want me to shut you out preach your lies to the ones that are deaf and blind with hate an endless winter is where your heart is forever i won't buy your words when sin rears its ugly head im glad i wont be there this is your last chance to turn it around Ignorance & Aaragonce are the standards you live by knowing i will be spared from this worlds filth and corruption i'm not afraid to embrace death" just kinda something i made up...just so yall know..its nothing ANTI christian...kinda like a...er...im not sure lol
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Post by Solid on Nov 19, 2005 18:28:23 GMT -5
My Strength My body is weak from war My soul is weary from pain My strength is not of me I rely on this wooden cane Encouraged to curse all I love Resistant to blame the cause I need the strength offered Help from the man of no flaws I fight for my values My beliefs in this God Love for all eternity A passion considered odd My strength returns to me As I pray to my only King Strength for another day And a love for all things The question is common Why live, love, and die? For my only purpose To embrace Him in the sky My soul grows weary no more My strength replenished again My love for You increases All glory to God, amen ...oh, and this one: Choices of the Heart's End
Break me out from this cage My cage of self-protection The want of staying content Risk-free of loving others Thinking loneliness is my friend When, yet, I am dying helpless I am living a death inside Loneliness stares with enjoyment My suffering becomes entertainment Is there hope for me now With my waking eyes, I see The hand of love reaching out to me My choice to hold on to life My choice to turn away and die Now, my concerns are not of me I am free from this deathtrap Come join and dance with the Alpha Share this joy with the Omega It's not for Him to decide your fate Which end will you choose? ...comments are appreciated.
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